Let Go

Today’s prompt: Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year?


Right before reverb10 started I wrote a post about being happy with what I have in my life right now. The general idea is that my life is pretty great already... even though there are things I’d like to have that I don’t currently.
I’ve always been one of those people who looked forward- “When I’m in high school… or college… or out of college… married… a mom…” it could go on and on. I’m not often present in the moment or the experience of where I’m at right now. This year I’ve been working on letting go of the “when”.
I’m choosing to live in the now. Which, for me, is really hard.
I have to consciously make this decision second by second all day long. Not to mention that there are so many places I can distract myself. Facebook, Twitter, a bottle of wine, a book, music, cooking. Really the only place I can totally center myself without mental struggle is my yoga mat.
Between the breath and the physical engagement I’m not able to be anywhere except in the now. Which is good. And it’s basically my favorite thing about my yoga practice. It turns off my “monkey mind” and holds me in this moment. Each moment is moving and fluid. Each moment requires me to be fluid and flexible and centered and present.
I’ve worked at meditation and I’ve read books about living in the moment. But the moving meditation of yoga is the only thing that really does it for me. Otherwise, like I just did, in a moment of struggle, I step out of it and check in with Twitter… or Facebook, or text messages. And then I have to remind myself that I’m supposed to be staying in the moment.
But really, moment to moment isn’t the main point of my letting of go of “when”. (It’s funny how sometimes these posts turn out completely different from where I thought they were going. It’s like they have a mind of their own.) Letting go of "when" is all about being thankful for what is already in my life- my amazing friends and family, a job I love, a sweet apartment and a great roommate, a fun, fast car etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
Keeping my mind on all the wonderful blessings that already exist in my life is the best way I know to let go of worrying about everything I don’t have, to keep my focus on the now. So I write in my gratitude journal almost every night and reflect on just how blessed I really am.

And I am *really* blessed.
Right now.