Everything's OK

#24 Everything's OK. What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?

I had a few moments this year when I had to step out in faith. When I quit my job without having anything else lined up was a big one.  And I wasn’t sure that it would all be fine. I figured that worst-case scenario I would go work for my dad at the tennis shop again and sub where I could.

The moment when I *knew* everything was going to be okay was when I got the phone call from my new principal. I had interviewed at two great schools after shopping my resume all summer.  I knew that either school would be a great fit and I knew that I could do the job in either place.  But I also knew that the school in Denver was the “easy” job.  It fit more closely with my philosophy and would give me more room to teach as I saw fit.  It would also not help me look at my practice with a critical eye and I wouldn’t be able to share my philosophy with people who thought differently.  Basically, I wouldn’t have been growing as a teacher and to me growth = learning.  If I’m a teacher who is not continuing to learn what kind of role model am I for my kids? (Not a good one- I decided.)

I knew that job offers were coming- probably from both schools and I didn’t know how I would choose. And then my principal called. I knew it was her so I sent it to voicemail and I sat down and made a plan for questions I still had about her and her philosophy and her idea of a good teacher and a good principal.  I called my mom, dad, sister, two best friends and my grandma to see if they could think of anything else I needed to know.  (These were the people that got the brunt of my being miserable at the old school, so I figured they would think of things I hadn’t.)

Then… I called her back. She offered me the job and instead of just mindlessly accepting it I told her I had some questions and wanted to talk through some things with her.  What followed was a philosophical discussion in which we could see places where we agreed and places where we differed.  She told me that I could teach in the ways that I knew worked best for my kids and that only if they weren’t learning what they needed to would she step in. 

And I took a deep breath.  

This was exactly what I needed to hear. 

That someone *trusted* me enough to let me do my job.  

That someone trusted my background and my education to know that I could do it- even if sometimes I might doubt it.  

That someone trusted my professionalism enough to know that if our philosophies differed we could have a respectful conversation about it and perhaps learn something from each other. 

The main point for me in taking this forward is to remember that if I’m *me*...  that beautiful, honest, authentic, enthusiastic person that I truly am, then the right opportunities and people will always manifest.  It’s when I try to be somebody else that I get into trouble.  And also remembering that stepping out in faith is the first step.  It’s a step- it’s about action.  I believe the universe responds to thought and to action.  Finally, though, it’s about faith. And faith as we know from A Miracle on 34^th Street, “is about believing in something, even when common sense tells you not to.”  Just having that peace in your heart that is inexplicable and calmly tells you that all is well- just as it is. Faith is believing in yourself and the world around you.  And as they say in Bawlmer, Murlin (Baltimore, MD for those of you who don’t speak Bawlmorese)  - “B’lieve hon!”