Joyful Girl

So, I had a big awakening this weekend. One that has been at least six months coming.

I live a blessed life. Life really is *that* good. Crazy, isn’t it?

Perhaps this is self-indulgent.  Perhaps it will make you want to vomit... I hope not.
Maybe I’ve been blind for the last six months. Whatever it was… I get it now.
MY life is good. I am blessed and I'm thankful for it.
For the last six months I’ve been thinking about what’s missing, rather than what’s present. I’ve been focused on what I want, rather than what I have.  I've spent so much time thinking that what I have isn't good enough.  Isn't *enough*.  No wonder I haven’t been happy. Now when I choose to focus on it -- I realize just how fortunate I am and I'm embracing it.

I have a totally kick-ass family. My sister is quite possibly the best person I know. If I could go back in time… waaaay back in time, I’d plan on being the little sister so I could model myself after her. My mom spends her free time talking me down from whatever new ledge I’ve imagined myself on and helping in my classroom and my daddy coddles me and cooks for me until it’s time for an “intervention” as he likes to call it. Not to mention my grandma, aunts, uncles and cousins who are all awesome (and my baby cousins are super cute too).  Sure, my sister and I get into it from time to time (usually I’m overreacting). And sure I don’t always see eye to eye with my mom or dad. But really? They’re beautiful. I heart my family. And I'm lucky they put up with me most of the time!
I have inspiring friends. Admittedly, it’s not easy to get to know me. I’m a workaholic.  And I fill my calendar quickly. One of my best friends recently quipped, “Doesn’t he know your schedule fills up faster than the Queen’s?” And… I’m guarded. Too many years of being picked on for being too tall, awkward, smart, blonde… fill in the blank. I got teased ... mercilessly, for it. So I don’t let people in easily. But once you’re in- you’re in. If I consider you a friend I likely consider you a dear friend. So after years of being really picky I can say this honestly… I have the best friends a girl could ask for…loyal, kind, generous and spontaneous. I respect them and I look up to them.
I have an amazing job. Teaching in the school district where I grew up, in a community that is small (just like where I grew up), with amazing children and supportive parents is a dream. Don’t get me wrong.  There are plenty of things that go wrong in my room.  We’re loud and rambunctious. Sometimes we’re not safe with our hands or feet or teeth (no joke- I had a Kindergartener bite someone this year). Sometimes we yell in the hallway or run when we’re not supposed to. But you know what? I L-O-V-E these kids. They are smart and funny and sweet. And kind and creative and cuddly. And by some miracle of whoever-is-in-charge-up-there they love me too. The staff at my school and my teammates are the kind of teachers you’d want your kids to have. They are innovative, energetic and passionate. They are advocates for education and for each and every child in their classrooms. I look up to these men and women and I’m so honored to be in their company.
I live in a wonderland. Not just Boulder… Colorado in general and my apartment specifically. Sure- I miss Denver. I miss the hustle and bustle of “city” life. I miss the views and I miss walking to the UCD campus for class on the weekends. But Boulder is home. Always has been. And even though I (technically) grew up elsewhere I’ve always told people I’m from here and since I was born here- blocks from where I now live- I figure it’s pretty much the truth. And I have two closets! And a fireplace. We’re walking distance to Vic’s, Moe’s and Radda, which is my new “Cheers”.  Plus I adore walking in to see Matthew and Megan and being handed a glass of bubbly.

So... Life. Is. Good.  Really good.  I'm really good.  And I realize it… RIGHT NOW.
I choose to be joyful and to see the beauty in my own life.
And, yea, there are some things/ people/ events that I’d eventually like to have. There are things missing.  There are things I’m working on.
And I’m okay with that. I’m at peace with it.
In fact, I love it. It’s perfect for me.
Right now.